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Don't Call Me Kevie

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I'm shooting Cupid
fuckwithme by tarar
I am the worst-est person in the world. There is no worse than me.

I don't believe in Valentine's Day There. I said it. You can now join in with everyone else I know and start to throw rotten tomatoes at me.

I'm supposed (note:supposed) to be on-air Monday the 14th, and I've been planning my show for the last few weeks. I was (note:was) going to play anti-love songs, and get people to request their favourite non-love songs, or dedicate songs to their pets, or to ex-lovers. Songs like "She F*king Hates Me.", "I Hate Everything About You" - both the Three Days Grace and Ugly Kid Joe versions, Tammy Wynette's "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." and even throw in some Corrs "I Never Really Loved You Anyway." People would be able to request a love song, but only if they were dedicating it to me.

But no.

I was telling my listeners all about this, when the station manager looked into the window and shook her head. Once I put the next song on, and got off-air she comes in. "No, you can't do that. We're doing love requests and dedications all day. The entire radio is doing it."

I argued that it was only one hour, and would be a bit of fun, and that not everyone had a partner and I don't celebrate the day.

"Well you can't do it. You'll be playing love songs."

So I told her that I wouldn't be coming in that day then. And she said:

"Well, it would be best for the radio station if you didn't do your show that day then."

BEST FOR THE STATION?!?!?! WTF?!? All I want is one freaking hour where people who aren't in relationships, or have just broken up with someone, or had their partner die not have to listen to sentimental love ballads with messages like "Dearest Pookie. I will always wuv you. You're my soul mate. Your Little Flower." or somesuch.

And I admit, I have had really bad experiences in the past with V-days. V-Days where "Well-meaning" friends have sent me anonymous cards from a secret admirer, and watched me float for a few hours before saying "I sent that. I thought it was sad that you hadn't got one yet." Or having to sit there, and watch a friend get flowers from a guy she doesn't even really like, but accepting them anyway, 'cause it was V-day.

So I'm not allowed to do my show. I can't have 60 minutes of love-freeness. The radio station was starting to bug me before this, but this just took the cake for me.

Obviously, I am destined for hell. Bah freakin' un-loving humbug.

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Maybe you need to go on a vacation at this time of the year to somewhere where it isn't observed. ;-) Commerce has been trying to install it here for years (I think they started about fifteen years ago), but they have only been very moderately successful; I don't know anyone who pays any attention to it and had totally forgotten about it being today until I read your post. Of course, if you where here now you might have to play German carnival music with it being Carnival Monday here, and believe me, the most stupid love song is better than that...

Even worse, I didn't realize until posting the comment that it is only next week... *g*

I don't know - Carnival Monday sounds like fun. Does it involve clowns? 'Cause that's something I could get behind. ;-)

Traditional costumes are wooden masks of witches, demons, devils etc., which are supposed to scare away winter (this is the part of carnival I can totally get behind ;-) ), like the ones here, but nowadays people dress up like anything they want, so in a town that is much into celebrating it you would surely easily find clowns. ;-) (As you can see in the icon I once was a cat on carnival. ;-) )

I am so very with you on this. I am single, and have every intention of ignoring Valentine's Day completely. When I lived in CA, I was part of a crafting group made up entirely of single women. We dubbed the holiday unfair to singles, and held a party of our own where we did a "Secret Cupid" exchange and gave each other gifts so we wouldn't feel left out.

I think your radio station is being most unfair, and that they would be surprised by how many people would find an hour of "love stinks" songs refreshing on a day otherwise devoted to cloying sentimentality and the exclusion of anyone not involved in a romantic relationship.

Exactly. Not everyone can handle 24 hours of Elton John-Shania Twain-Boy Band love ballads.

My friends are bummed that I'm not doing the anti-love V-Day show. Since I mentioned the idea to them, they've been coming up to me and giving me songs they want to hear. And the thing - ? It's my coupled-up friends who don't like Valentine's day the most. One friend said "If he buys me flowers, I'll be cross because they're so bloody expensive that day! And I'll wonder what he's done that makes him think I'd want flowers. I'd rather the remote."

Ah well, maybe next year.

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