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Don't Call Me Kevie

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by Crunkette - Lancelot
erika_sanely
I have hit a new drunken low.

Last night I fell asleep on my toilet. I am ashamed by the falling asleep, yet am very impressed by my not falling off (or into) the toilet. 'Cause really, I have trouble standing without falling over. I got home from the Tavern, went to the toilet, and woke with the worst cramp in my right leg I have ever had the non-privelege to have. I had to hop to my bed, and I glanced at the bedside clock. I had gone to the toilet an hour earlier.

I shouldn't be allowed out. Kids - I am a lesson to learn from.

But anyway, I went out and met up with Afro and Shellio and Oh! Whadda Know! IG2 was out as well. He was with his sister, and they came over and chatted. I had them in stitches because Jesus was at the jukebox. What is it about men with long scraggly brown hair and a matching goatee? Do they enjoy being looked upon as Jesus-wannabes? I was obsessed with this Jesus - I kept trying to work out what song he was picking on the jukebox and if you time it right when you're among friends a quick verse of "One of Us" by Joan Osbourne followed by "Like a Prayer" by Madonna you can make your friends cry. Turns out Shellio's boyfriend knew Jesus (who was undercover with the name Aaron) so he went up and got his autograph. I am now the proud owner of a five dollar note with the immortal words "To Aphrodite and Erika Love Jesus" on them.

I should point out here IG2 sat down next to me, though there were other chairs around.

Around 10pm we went to the back bar where there be dancing. A guy called Steve kept trying to crack onto me, which I may have been into if IG2 wasn't there. But he was, and he kept attempting to save me from Steve. Well, whenever IG2 walked off, Steve would try again to get some booty action from me, so in the end I had IG2 saving me, and his sister and a friend of his called Jules prying this guy off me when IG2 wasn't up for the role of pretendo-boyfriend (and he did a fine job in the roll. He kept putting his arm around my waist. And he once put his arm around my waist to guide me to the bar even when Steve wasn't there.)

His sister is a champion, and so is his friend Jules. At one stage, this damn Steve-who-hadn't-gotten-a-hint-the-first-5-times was hanging off me like a wet sock was giving it one last college try, so I grab Jules' eye, mouth "Help" and she nods and bounds over "Hands off her mate, she's my girlfriend." And while Jules is explaining our 'relationship' to the guy, IG2's sister grabs me, and we hide in the toilets. Female bonding at its best right there. Now I'm sure Steve is a nice enough fella, but I kinda have a rule that the guy needs to remember my name before touching my tonsils. And the dirtyt dancing he was doing with me started about 2 songs too early. He was dancing with me, and halfaway through our first dance our crotches were connecting. Too soon. W-a-y too soon. But anyway, the guy was sleazy, but not too sleazy, so I feel a bit sorry for him. It's not his fault he's not IG2. And sometimes, just having a guy want to take things further is enough for that ego boost you need every now and then.

I also danced with IG2 a few times. More than a few times, actually. No dirty dancing to speak of, as the boy cannot dance one whit, and I was trying to teach him. However! He already knew my fav dances: The chainsaw, the Mower, the Shopping Trolley, and Sprinkler. I taught him The Marlin, and he showed me "Waiting for a Bus". I bought him a drink he hated (Burboun and Cola), and he returned the favour (Brandy and Dry).

He offered to walk me home - which I did not take up. Now before you hit me over the head, please be aware that he was also walking his sister home. So it's not like I was missing an opportunity to lay one on him or anything. So before we left the Tav, I gave IG2 my smokes (don't ask. please. I hadn't smoked in five years before last month.), and made him promise to give them back to me the next time we are out drinking together. (and that's the extent of my flirting capabilities.)

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Sounds like you had a good night besides falling asleep on the toilet and on the good side there was no one around to know about that.

IG2 sounds like he has a great sister and friend to save you from Mr Sleazy.

Hope you get to go out more with that group.

It was a great night. One of the best I've had for a while (other than, of course, falling asleep on the 'loo. But hey, you can't have everything.)

There's a thing on next week, where I should be able to catch up with that group again. which will be fun. And of course New Years Eve is just around the corner.

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