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My Tree thanks to slodwick

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Don't Call Me Kevie

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My Tree thanks to slodwick
About ten minutes ago I went over to the laundry to check if my underware was dry. I was getting close to the step up to the laundry room when I saw this thick stick that was an interesting green colour. I was less than 2 metres away from it when it occured to ome that it was not a stick, but a huge frickin' snake.

Thanks to sheer f**king luck my lightning fast ninja-like cat reflexes I jumped backwards as it reared its head at me. The bastard even hissed at me with it's hissy tongue and mouth.Lets pause a moment to honor the fact that not only did I NOT scream I DID NOT wet my pants. That, I believe, shall be my greatest achievement this year.


And since the snake went up the step, and started slithering towards the door of the laundry I rationally decided to go back to my room and have a beer. Beer is good in times of snake-induced fear.

And since I was traumatised, I figured I shall give my brother a call and get mounds of sympathy. I call him, we talk for a moment and then he says "Can you throw me my pants?"

The 18 year old high-school he picked up a few weeks ago had stayed the night, and was still there. And my brother was not wearing pants.

Have you ever asked yourself what is more horrifying than having a snake rear its evil head at you? Well, it realising your brother is talking to you on the phone naked. And you may have interrupted him and his woman? girl-friend? bumping bits.

I need therapy. And more beer.

EDITED TO ADD: And my underwear is still in the laundry. I have this fear the snake knows this, and is trying to wait me out. I may need to go commando for the rest of my life.

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Oh, poor you. *pets*

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