"Like a bucket of prawns in the sun."
"Like a bride's nightie."
(and my personal favourite. But only because it's incredibly un-PC, and I made it up."
"Like an amputee's leg."
All I gots to do is take a shower and get in the car. I'm with a list of books to buy, and instructions from friends on how much coffee to drink (Real Coffee!!), what to eat (Sushi!! Thai!!) and what not to do (Swear like a sailor in front of parents!)
SO be good guys, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. On second thoughts - change that to don't do anything you can get arrested for.
One last thing: It's been so long since I've driven in a big town/city* - Traffic Lights. Red means...stop?
* Has slash affected me so much that I see that and my mind boggles. Paris/London WW2 Romance-Angst fic! Australia/Sheep/New Zealand fic for the kinky!