It's Mother's Day here in Oz, and I had rung Mum and asked her what she wanted. (It's way easier that way, and when she was in hospital I had bought her a Bounty Bouquet.) She wanted some more moisturiser from The Body Shop, so I ordered her some of her usual Nut Body Butter, and I also got her a Cocoa Butter Stick which is good for stretch marks and I thought might be nice for her.
So I ring her today to wish her a good day, and I asked her if she got her gift yet.
"Oh yes," says she "but your father grabbed the stick and won't give it back to me."
"You're kidding." I say, but not at all surprised.
"Nup. He keeps putting it on his face, saying what a nice smell it is, and how great it is in a stick. He doesn't have to get his fingers greasy putting it on."
I have a small pause, before telling her. "It's for stretch marks; I thought it might be nice if you had a scar from the operation."
"Oh. Well, at least your Dad's not stealing my nut body butter."
My father loves moisturiser. He adores scented soaps. Always has, always will. One year for Christmas I bought him three refills for fabric softener because not only do they smell nice, he liked fondelling them. (It used to get embarrassing when going grocery shopping with him)
A few years back I bought Mum this three-pack of body butters for her, and I got a phone call from Dad asking me to get more of the mango once, because that was his favourite.
He's a strange man, but I love him. The best thing is you can't buy him moisturiser - you have to give it to Mum and he'll steal it from her - because it's not manly to give such gifts. And he hates hates hates male moisturisers. Can't stand 'em, they don't smell as nice and he claims they give him a rash.
He's such a girl. I don't know what makes me smile more: him stealing Mum's moisturiser, or the fact Mum and I expect it so much I buy enough for the both of them.
And lets not mention the time I gave her a Vitamin E gift box, and Dad and my brother took everything out of it bar the eye cream I'm pretty sure my bro took the lip balm