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My Tree thanks to slodwick

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Don't Call Me Kevie

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For the love of all good and pure...
My Tree thanks to slodwick
why can't I get this damn fire alarm to stop beeping?!?!??!

It's 0430, and the low battery alarm is going off every 2 minutes. I have got the thing in four pieces, and it just won't stop. I have attacked it with a kitchen knife, and the bottle opener part on a swiss army knife. I have taken the fricken battery out, and hidden it in a drawer so the other bits of the fire alarm can't see it. I have left the cover off the alarm and put in on the table next to my car keys so first thing in the morning (first thing at a respectable time - at least when the shops are open) I can remind myself to run down and get a brand spankin' new battery. So I sit underneath it, waiting. It makes no noise, so I hop back into bed and bam! I swear, it is waiting until the lights go off to start beeping again.

I fear I may go insane.