Erika Sanely (erika_sanely) wrote,
Erika Sanely

I have never hidden my love of Zombie related entertainment from you, so it shouldn’t be surprising when I say I have thought long and hard about how I would cope if such a thing as a Zombie Apocalypse was to occur. Simply put, I would die in the first wave. Or the second. I would definitely be cactus by the third.

One thing you notice in movies and television shows is that people have easy access to guns and bullets. In Australia, with our gun laws being so strict, it’s hard to come across such a bounty of goods if you don’t know where to look. And then there’s gun safe’s I woud have to break into , and then there’s also the fact I have never held a gun that wasn’t a water pistol. I’ve never even held a starter’s pistol. Considering I’ve never even held a gun, the chances of me being able to use one proficiently enough from the get-go are very slim.

Then there’s the whole camping thing. I am not a camper. I was born at the exact time in history that suited me best, and that time includes no camping. And the hunting. I am the kind of person who is fine eating meat as long as the meat is killed and dressed before it gets to me. My being a meat eater who needs someone else to do that for them, just means I am contributing to society by keeping others employed!

A friend of mine and I have talked about this, and we both agree we would be absolutely terrible and useless during a real Zombie attack. Ironically, the best way to ensure we died in a way that we couldn’t come back from and that the death isn’t from being eaten by the Zombies would be to shoot ourselves in the head/face area. Which brings us back to not knowing where to find guns. We are screwed in all sorts of terrifying ways.

I know I posted it once on Face Book, but it’s good to get these things out, so there’s no double up (So this is my official “bags first!”)
Now, as much as I think Turtle Man would be good to have for catching food for us, I fear his trade mark “Yyiyiyiyiyiyi!” would alert Zombies and bad guys alike to us. So I would have to say No to Turtle Man being on my team.  (Which does make me sad, as I think he would a wonderful person to have around. But he’s just too loud, and he would probably name all the Zombies he was trying to put down. And he probably wouldn’t want to put them down. He’s try to start a sanctuary for them or something.)

Having snipers, and crack shots is good, but eventually bullets will run out, so you’re better having people who are exceptional at hand-to-hand combat and bow and arrow skills. (You should still take a crack shot if they offer to join you, but make sure they bring something else to the table with them) With that in mind, my choices should be obvious.

Like I said, you’re going to need people good with the bow, so  Daryl Dixon is my first choice, and anyone who says that he is not their first choice is just crazy pants and deserves to be eaten by the walking dead. Oliver Quinn is also up there, and him having survivalist skills that he learnt on the island will be invaluable. Same goes for Katniss Everdeen. Allison Argent is good with a bow, and hand to hand. She’s also familiar with the supernatural which is what you need.

And speaking of supernatural, you would have to have the Slayer. I’ll take Buffy, but I would prefer Faith. And if I can have both, I will.  The added bonus of the Slayers is that they have increased healing times, so you may not need to use many medical supplies on them. Same goes for Werewolves, so Derek Hale, Scott McCall, Ruby, Tom McNair, and Jacob Black.

Eric Northman would be the only Vampire I could be comfortable having on the team (Okay, he’d probably eat him, but I’m not afraid to say that if it was him, I would be okay with that.)… but having say a dozen vamps would mean that the camp would have a constant set of guards that aren’t fighting their circadian rhythm trying to stay awake. So we’ll say Eric, Pam, Nora, Mitchell and Hal (from the UK version of Being Human) and Spike with the chip in his head so he can’t eat us. No Edward. I would have to stake him within the first week myself. Would having undead on the make the team as whole unpalatable to the zombies? I can imagine that the scent of the Vampires may help hide us from the Zombies. The only negative to having the Vampires on the team (other than the whole they may try to eat us) is the transportation of them all.  Mitchell and Hal can walk In sunlight, so can probably use them to help cart around whatever we can find as suitable transport for the others.

Hand to hand combat skills will be crucial, so Natasha Romanov will be leading that line of defense. Same as Clint Barton; the reason I didn’t’ have him up with the archers if I don’t think he will work with the others. There’s a chance I think that he and Daryl would clash, or be too similar in personality to really be effective together. Plus, iIf you have him in the same grouping as the Black Widow I think he will work effectively being a go between for all the different people. Captain America is there of course. Not The Hulk or Tony Stark though, which pains me to say. I’m concerned that the big green guy could be a hindrance to the overall safety (and the way he literally tears through clothes is a terrible waste when there’s such a limited supply) It’s also a concern as to what it happen if Bruce/Hulk got infected. The thought of a huge green rage Monster Zombie does not bear thinking about. and how would Tony go without having easy access to technology and computers? I think in terms of inventions that would make our lives easier though, Tony would be a major asset, so I don’t know.

For medical personnel, I’d be hard pressed to look further than Dr. Quinn, medicine woman. She’s familiar with working with limited supplies, and would have a good knowledge on the medicinal use of herbs and plants. Any doctor from our time is too reliant on antibiotics and the like. Perhaps House, but he would need to learn how to take instruction.

I’m there for witty banter. That’s pretty much it. I can also help feed the vamps, so they stay strong, but that’s it when it comes to me. I’m also good for planning. Just look at the make-up of this team! I’m definitely surviving! Or if I go in the first wave my death will be the angsty reason why they keep on living.)  I’m also pretty happy with the gender split of my team. 12 men, 10 women (including me) with everyone – other than myself – pulling their weight. Plus with that kind of mix we may be able to re-populate the earth if we need to. (yes, it is just a crazy-arse coincidence that all the people in my team are as hot as the intensity of a thousand suns.)

Tags: everydayness, nanowrimo, zombies

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