November 5th, 2013


Doughnut man came to work today!

There is a gentleman who whenever he visits our site, he brings a box of cinnamon doughnuts and a box of cheese and bacon buns. It’s very exciting. If I have an important job out here, that job would be the email I send out to different departments letting them know the the doughnut man has arrived and he has bought with him glourious food stuffs. I once sent the email out, and it seemed as if some of the people I sent the email to actually beat the email. It would have not been even 30 seconds since I pressed the send button, and the people on the doughnut mailing list started coming into the processing wing.

Ah, yes. I acutally have a mailing list set up to tell people that there are doughnuts and buns for them to eat. I used to walk around, but after a while it became obvious who would want free food and who didn’t, so I created the mailing list “Doughnut people.” I like to think that these people are sitting at their desks, having a boring day, and then up pops the notification that there are Free!! Dougnuts!! And Scrolls!! And that makes them happy.

One of the great things about the doughnut man, is we’re never really sure as to when he is going to appear. Well, I say we, but I am sure that the supervisors and managers know when he is due. The ‘lay’ people do not, so whenever he turns up everyone gets slightly a little bit excited. And there is great joy throughout the building.

People are always grateful to be told that there is free food, and they like to tell me how much they appreciate me telling them. As I always say back to them, I’m doing myself more of a favour than them; the doughtnuts and whatnot are in my line of vision, so the sooner I can get rid of them, the less likely I am to cave and scoff down the lot of them. So really, anyone who’s not me that eats them, are doing me a huge favour. So really, it’s the Circle of Life… but with more food and less witch-doctor gibbons. It also comes in handy if I need a different department to do something for me, they remember that I am a nice person who lets them know first that there’s delicious and free food on the premises.

I’ve always said that if you want to poison people out here, all you need to do is bring out a box of food, and it will get eaten within minutes. We came in one morning at 7 am and there was a box of doughnuts sitting on a filing cabinet and people devoured the box like a lion on a gazelle during a 15 month drought. The weird thing about these particular doughnuts, is that it was not the usual time for the doughnut man to drop them off, nor was it the usual spot he dropped them off. No one knew who they belonged to, and no one cared. As long as the food was free they were happy to eat. I should also point out that our site is 40 minutes out of town, and while we have vending machines with soft drinks, potato chips and chocolates in them, unless you bring food, there’s no other food readily avaible. Most people keep ‘spare’ food in their desks for those rare but devastating occassions when you forget your lunch on the kitchen table.


Melbourne Cup Sweeps - The results.

I think it’s safe to say that the Work sweeps were a success. I ended up having six sweeps running; 3 $2.00 and 3 $5.00. I would have lulls and then about 4 people would come one after the other. Even my boss got in on the action and got two horses in one of the $2’s and one horse in the first $5.00 sweep. He was naturalised last year, and we’ve finally managed to convince him that having a flutter on the race is one of the most Australian things you can do not wearing thongs. (as in the footwear.) I haven’t partaken myself, as I don’t want to run the risk of being accused of cheating if the horse I picked won, and  I ran the foot tipping earlier in the year and if there was a way to guarantee a team to lose it was for me to pick them. If I got a horse I could possibly ruin it for the people who have the same horse in the other sweeps. My poor form in choosing a foot team was legendary, but that is a story for another time.

My boss’ horse came in first in the $5 sweep, and walked away with a sweet $60.00. Luckily for me, my performance review is scheduled for tomorrow, so I should come out even better than I thought I would. I also mentioned to my boss that it's only now that he is officially a naturalised Australian since he won first place in a work place sweeps. Another guy got first and second in the 5 dollar sweep and HE walked away with $96! So this afternoon has pretty much just been me walking around giving out envelopes of money (which is a lot of fun. Everybody loves you when you have money to give them.) I did not have any bets in the sweep, but it’s still exciting to be a part of it.