January 23rd, 2012

Damn Astronaut!

Alfred Hitchcock would have shat himself

So this morning I got chased by a magpie. Which, summer in Australia is pretty much par for the course. Being swooped by a breeding magpie is a rite of passage, and there's not a child around who hasn't worn an ice-cream container on their heads that their mum/dad/responsible adult has drawn eyes on.

However!!! (And have you ever noticed how often my stories have a However!! attached to them?? I'm not sure I like being the However!! girl.)

Where was I?? Ah yes; However!! This morning I was chased by a bird. Not swooped by a bird; chased. There he was; the magpie. He was on the football oval, digging for some sort of insect out of the ground. There I was; iPod cranking something I sure would be too embarrassing to mention here while I walk across the footy oval. I kept an eye on all birds around the area, I was alert but not alarmed. And then he saw me. And he wasn't happy. He was baying for blood. Preferbely scalp, as all magpies find this the tastiest of flesh. But, instead of swooping he got his short, stumpy, legs moving and RAN after me. You would think that a bird running after you would be hilarious, but it is not. A bird with murder in it's mind is a single-minded creature and - as I believe of all animals - can smell fear. And they run way faster than you would originally expect.

So I did what any sane person would do; while going backwards so I always knew where the bird was, I attempted speed walking. On one hand, I didn't fall over (which for me, is always the sign of a good day). On the other... a magpie found me to be that much not a threat he couldn't be bothered to fly to chase me.

I feel slightly, um, slighted, by the avian community.