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My Tree thanks to slodwick

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Don't Call Me Kevie

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Advice from cat owners needed
My Tree thanks to slodwick
To all of you who are owned by a cat or two:

How do you manage to get the majority of your bed??

I own a Queen-sized bed, and I end up with Marley on my left side scrunched up and Owen on my right side in a heavy ball just behind my knees. I canne move. Which, since winter is upon us, doesn't worry me that much as it means I have two heat beads keeping me warm.
The thing of it is though that every night without fail Marley and I end up fighting for control of my pillow. I have three pillows on my bed, but apparently the pillow I use the most is The! Most! Fantastic! Pillow! In! The! Entire! World! Between the hours of 2 and 3am I open my eyes to find myself with my head wedged uncomfortably between the pillows and a cat. And Marley is sitting on the pillow looking at me through half-closed eyes smirking in a gleeful, evil way. Smirking, people. Is there nothing more evil than a smirking cat who has bested the two-legged?Then we wrestle for control of the pillow of contentment, and somehow I lose. I have 5 feet and x amount of pounds of Marles, and I still lose.

Has anyone ever won the fight? 'Cause at this stage I'm seriously thinking of buying all new pillows to confound him.

(And yes, I know that the easy answer to this is to not let them sleep with me, but despite the fact I can't move, and I end up pillowless I sleep so much better when they're there.)