That makes me happy. (Because it's true)
It rained today, but it's still frigging hot. Supposedly it's only been up to 44C every day the last 11 days, but we all know that's a lie. Yesterday underneath a friend's pergola it was 46C. Let's say that again for the people in the back. 46Cin the shade. And where was I for this glorious weather? I was outside in the sample prep shed, and I think I may have had a touch of heat exhaustion. I'm fairly sure it's not normal to fall asleep one minute after sitting down out there. And it was so hot out there that the fire alarm went off when R. opened the furnance to do a fire. These fire alarms are set up so it has to be hot for them to go off. I think it's about 50C ambient temp that they're set at. Ouch. In my next life, I have decided I want supermodel thighs. Or at least less-disgusting work overalls that fit properly in areas. Heat rash be gone!!
Just done the drabble thing. I swear, I didn't plan for the enormous...
The Battle For The Stocking
In a car, Daniel jumped his stocking. He had been busy with the stocking for hours and now wanted nothing more than a bumpy cuddle or a bitter massage from his lover Jack.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his busty Jack appeared at the door, grinning piercingly.
"Put down the stocking," Jack said achingly. "Unless you want me to jump that stocking on your shin."
Daniel put down the stocking. He was spotty. He had never seen Jack so Sparkly before and it made him enormous.
Jack picked up the stocking, then withdrew a Chair from his nose. "Don't be so spotty," Jack said with a Sparkly grimace. "A goat bit my toe this morning, and everything became sooty. Now with this stocking and this Chair I can achingly rule the world!"
Daniel clutched his dorky toe sadly. This was his lover, his busty Jack, now staring at him with a Sparkly nose.
"Fight it!" Daniel shouted. "The goat just wants the stocking for his own busty devices! He doesn't love you, not the bumpy way I do!"
Daniel could see Jack trembling sadly. Daniel reached out his shin and touched Jack's nose achingly. He was busty, so busty, but he knew only his dorky love for Jack would break the goat's spell.
Sure enough, Jack dropped the stocking with a thunk. "Oh, Daniel," he squealed. "I'm so bumpy, can you ever forgive me?"
But Daniel had already moved in a car. Like a bucket of prawns in the sun, he pressed his shin into Jack's nose. And as they fell together in a sooty fit of love, the stocking lay on the floor, enormous and forgotten.
I had the funniest dream last night. Way weird, and I think I can seriously blame this on heat stroke.
Britney Spears and Kylie Minogue were my cousins. They came to Roxby to say Hi, and we thought that all three of us should put on a free concert. So we did, but only 15 people showed up (Typical town people) I was movin' and shakin' like the girls, except the racy outfit was very uncomfortable. Boo to the hungry bum!