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Heat-stroke and nudity and coffee. Oh My!
Panda Kiss
erika_sanely
Had a blast in Melbourne and Adeliade. T'was great to see the family, and to be in civilisation.

First off - Melbourne.

Melbourne was wonderful. The whole cars crossing from the left lane to go to the right tram thing baffles me on many many levels though. Scares the absolute bejeesus out of me as well.
We stayed at an apartment-hotel that was in the centre of the city, and to my aboslute joy across the road was a Gloria Jeans and a sushi/noodle bar, and halfway down the block was a Hudson's Coffee. I almost wept. I also learnt one crucial lesson though; do not introduce your father to the bliss of eating chocolate covered coffee beans when he is on medication for high-blood pressure. Opps, my bad.

We went to the Australian Tennis Open on the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Thanks to me, we had pretty crappy seat on the Monday, Tuesday and Thursday - if any of you watched any games on the Rod Laver Court, you may have noticed that there was a range of seats that were never ever in the shade. From 10 30 am until the sun went down these seats were cookin'. And being the Aussie that I are, I put sunscreen on everywhere except places that would burn. My face, for example. I kinda figured wearing a hat would help there, but no. My chin broke out into tiny blisters from the burn. Ow. And I also forgot to slop on the 'screen on my knees. But I have learnt my lesson for next year. Dearest brother alas suffered from a mild heat stroke and went to bed at 5 that afternoon. The big blouse that he is. We all survived the first day, and after learning that Melbourne isn't as cold and rainy as everyone tells you, we went with more adequate protection.

Tuesday was fun - there was this guy sitting two rows in front of us that had me and my brother in stitches. It looks like the guy (We shall call him WaterMan from now on) was in charge of taking care of an out-of-town tour group. After every game of tennis, he would turn to all sitting around him - and we mean all; we're talking his entire row, and the two rows in front of him, and the row between us and him - and ask the question "Are you drinking?" And if they weren't he wouldn't hand them the water, he would hold the bottle for the person having a drink and tilit it accordingly for them. Lazy bastards. After every set he would stand, and add his concern about sunscreen. "Are you drinking? (tilts head and holds up sunscreen) Sunscreen?" and so on and so on for the first game of tennis. After the first game ended he went walkabout, leaving the rest of his tour to fend for themselves againt the evils of sun and dehydration. Bro has his suspicions he went to others courts, running from a crime he didn't committ, saving strangers from peril with his trademark "Are you drinking? Sunscreen?" God bless ya WaterMan - your concern for others still have me and bro randomly sending each other SMS's at odd hours asking the other "Are you drinking?" The last time Bro sent back the message "The sunscreen is starting to clog my throat." Oh dear - what would WaterMan do now?!?!?! Danger! World in Crisis!!

Saw all the tennis stars in action that I wanted to see. Well, everyone except Agassi, but you can't see everyone, drat the luck. Venus' game was a white-wash, but still bloody marvellous to see her in action. Roddick was great - such a gentleman, most of the time ("Thank you Captain Obvious"). Saw Lleyton - as much as I don't like him, it would be completely un-Orshtraylian of myself not to see him in action.

I have decided though that in my next life I am coming back as a Swedish Tennis player. Even the players that aren't that well-known, or are ranked somewhere like 500 get the best, mosst enthusiastic fans. Just watching the fans made you wish for yellow and bllue face paint. And maybe a few coloured mops to throw on the head as a wig. They rocked.

Also managed to catch a show - The Full Monty. Excellent show, though I do offer just one teeny tiny bit of advice for anyone thinking of seeing it. Do not - I repeat - do not sit next to your father. Yes, there is a strip show at the very start with an Adonis-type with a six pack that's beggin gto be covered in honey and licked clean. Yes, there is full frontal male nudity at the very end (and if you're lucky to be near the front - you can see past the clever lighting and see some male flesh.). Yes, there is a quick mention of a homosexual relationship. Yes, fathers do not appear to be comfortable with those three things. Well, maybe that's not right. I'm fairly sure Dad isn't against gays, it's just that he's not comfortable with it being up-front like that. He grew up in a one-horse town. I think there were about 20 kids in his entire school, and 8 of those were his siblings. But anyway - it's a great show, and I would love to see it again. And as an added bonus, one of the songs had the Magnificent 7 theme running through it.

Only had 2 fights with the family. One was the usual sibling thang - where you somehow turn 7 for about 15 minutes and say the famous words "Mum! He's touching my stuff!!" Forgotten almost before it even began. The other one was weird. Not very usual at all, and I think that there may be more going on at home than I know about. Nothing big, or worrying (I think. I hope), but still odd. I know that the last time I was home Mum had started Menopause, and it wasn't going well for her. And as much as I hate people saying "Oh - it's a hormone thing", I think it's related to that. And that's all I'll say on that topic.

Of course, did the shopping thing while in the city. T'was great!!! There was a huge sale on at Country Road and FCUK so I spent up big. That should probably read I spent up huge, but since there were sales, I only spent big. Had my fill of Chai Lattes at Hudsons that there almost knew me by name by the end of the week. Life is good.

Also spent about 5 days in Adelaide which was nice. Caught up with my Aunt, two cousins and my cousin's son - such a little cutie. Also did more shopping there. Gawd, I loves the clothes. And then there were the book shops as well. Picked up some books I have been looking for for the longest time. Yay!!!! I cannot wait to start reading "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Eastern Philosophy." Speaking of which is there anything out there that doesn't have an "Idiot's Guide" or a "For Dummies" manual for it?

Saw a couple of movies as well. Have finally seen the LOTR saga. The second movie would have to be my favourite. The third one-? It was good, but long. Very long. My bladder and concentration can only last out for so long. I hate how I was watching it, wishing Frodo would just finish saying goodbye to everyone just so's I wouldn't wet myself. Having not read the books (and not being likely to - I've tried, honest I have, but I just can't get past the first chapter) I have many question concerning this last movie. I shall ask them tomorrow when I've finished unpacking though - I can only put that chore off for so long.

And I think that about sums it up.

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Hey and welcome back! Glad to see you had fun but I hope you remembered to drink a lot ;p

Got to agree with the length of the third LOTR. Another pet peeve for me was the occasional schmaltz. That bed scene? Little Frodo lying there, bulging eyes, bulging neck, blood-inducing grin, 'Gandalf!' followed by a group hobbit leg humping session... it made me cringe, then it made me laugh.

I did remember to drink, thank you. You're not WaterMan's neice are you?????

Totally agree about the bed scene - I wonder what the "director's cut" version would have of that scene?

And you wouldn't be able to explain the whole Eagles at the end would you?? All I could think of when they were flying down to save Frodo and Sam was "Why didn't Gandalf get the Eagles to fly the Hobbits to the Fire? Save the poor halfings about 8 months of hiking??"

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