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Don't Call Me Kevie

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Genius at wirk
erika_sanely


It just annoys me that you'll see on the news the leaders saying they can't legalise same-sex marriages because it is a sacred act between a man and women, and then three minutes later you hear about Britney getting married and having the marriage annulled the next day. Either marriage is sacred for everyone - no matter your sexual orientation - or it's not. Like our "great" leaders, I believe that marriage is a sacred thing. However, I believe that marriage should be made up of love, trust and respect, and a marriage which has these three things and doesn't also happen to have one penis and one vagina doesn't make the marriage is any less valid.

So, in keeping with the "marriage is sacred and shouldn't be view as a partnership to be entered into lightly...unless you're a celebrity and then you can do what you want", this is what I would put into place if I was President. Or Prime Minister. Or Supreme Leader of the Known and Unknown Universe.

Any time a celebrity marries and gets divorced in less than 6 months (yes, I'm looking at you Britney. And you Renee. And Carmen Electra), same sex marriages are automatically made legal in the states that the marriage and divorce took place. Any time a celebrity gets married more then twice (this includes marriages ending in either divorce or a spouse dying*) same sex marriages are legal in the states all marriages took place.

When I mentioned this plan to a friend, she pointed out to me that there would be celebrities that would get married and divorced all over the shop, just to make a statement and get same sex marriages legal everywhere. And while, I would like penis-penis and vagina-vagina marriages everywhere, I don't want people to treat marriage as something to do for the hell of it. And so, here is my clause to hopefully get past this loophole:

When a celebrity gets divorced more than once, half of all their assets is given to charity each time. Half their houses, half their jets, half their money, half their production companies. Half of everything. No matter where the celebrity normally resides, and no matter where in the world they get married. And instead of going to charities that are the flavour of the month (aka, any charity that has a ribbon**), the monies would be given to battered women's shelters, and schools for underprivileged children.

And one more item for my presidency. Any time a celebrity books into rehab, and then checks out before completing their stay, they pay the cost of a full stay in rehab, and a person who wants/needs rehab but cannot afford it goes in their stead.

That's what I'd do if I was Supreme Leader. But I'm not, and it doesn't look likely that I will be any time soon.

*I added the marriage dissolved through death, as I didn't want 'freak accidents' killing off people when other people wanted out of a marriage
**Not that I'm against these charities. I think they do a great job. I just want some of the smaller ones to get their fair share.

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*bows to the Supreme Leader*

:Returns bow: Thank you.

When I'm Supreme Leader, you can be either my Minister for the Interior, or the Chancellor of the Exchequer. (Because both of those titles sound really cool.)

Together, we will be unstoppable!

And the world shall tremble before us!

Brilliant.

Exactly how am I supposed to vote for you?

Unfortunatly I am in the same boat as Arnie. You'll need to get voted it for me, and I can be your advisor.

Also, I am too lazy to do the work to get on the ballot.

Unfortunatly I am in the same boat as Arnie. You'll need to get voted it for me, and I can be your advisor.

This would never work. For one thing I'm extremely lazy and therefore I could not be bothered with doing it properly. And secondly, I think the power would go to my head and I would use my power for evil.

Sorry to disappoint.

Also, I am too lazy to do the work to get on the ballot.

Ah, I see we have a similar problem.

Oh well, it was an all too brief but beautiful dream...

Thank you! You were my first birthday greeting for the day, and it was lovely that it came from somebody so nice. Thanks again

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